Washington (dpo) – It was the next logical step. Having previously withdrawn from the Paris Climate Agreement, Unesco and the UN Human Rights Committee, the USA has now gone a step further. This afternoon, the USA withdrew from Earth with immediate effect on orders from President Trump. For the first time in its history, the country is no longer a part of Earth. “We no longer want to be a part of a celestial body which does not prioritise American interests above all else”, explained President Trump. He stated that other countries have shamelessly taken advantage of the USA’s role as part of Earth for centuries. He told reporters that he was finally putting an end to this practice. The President tweeted:
Withdrawing from Earth has already solved a number of political problems which previously affected the USA: illegal immigration from Latin America has practically ceased, meaning the country no longer needs to spend huge sums of money on building a wall. In addition, the USA is saving money by no longer belonging to NATO, the notable earthly military alliance. The move has also ended all trade relationships with foreign countries, which were previously characterised by trade deficits on the part of the USA. These two aspects alone will save the country hundreds of billions of dollars. It is as yet unclear where Earth’s former third largest country will now go. At press time, it is clearly heading towards the asteroid belt between Mars and Jupiter, where the US government expects to find plentiful oil deposits. Experts predict that the first extra-terrestrial country in the history of humanity will, sooner or later, conquer a new planet using Trump’s newly founded Space Force. shp, dan, ssi
Washington, D.C. (dpo) – The White House is getting a makeover. The high level of turnover among the highest ranking White House staff has spurred the Trump administration to replace the Lincoln era entrance with a modern revolving door. This will make it easier for large numbers of recently fired employees to leave the building at the same time without hindering similarly large numbers of new hires from entering. “We realised that, unfortunately, we were experiencing regular traffic jams in the door area”, reported a White House spokesperson who started work two days ago and is expected to last until the end of the month. “It was a real bottleneck.” At the beginning of the Trump presidency, back when Deputy Chief of Staff, Katie Walsh, and security adviser Michael Flynn had to go, this was not a major problem. However, when Angella Reid, Walter Schaub, Michael Dubke, Sean Spicer, Michael Short, Reince Preibus and Anthony Scaramucci were all seen off in quick succession, with new staff coming in at the same time, traffic jams started to form. Some people were still to be found in the foyer weeks or even months after having to leave Trump’s team. This was the case for Steve Bannon, Sebastian Gorka, Tom Price and Rob Porter. When Hope Hicks stepped down this week, she left via a window, as did Gary Cohn. Omarosa Manigault allegedly went as far as trying to tunnel her way out. The revolving door is set to smooth out the White House’s hiring and firing processes. This particular door was previously installed at Grand Central Station in New York and is therefore optimised for high volumes of traffic.
British police find Putin’s passport at scene of Salisbury poison attack
Salisbury (dpo) – Last doubts over Russia’s guilt in poisoning former spy Sergei Skripal have been eliminated. As the British government announced today, the passport of Russian president Vladimir Putin was found at the scene in Salisbury.
According to Prime Minister Theresa May, the passport was only now found in another search of the scene, as it had been hidden under a fallen leaf. “Russia has 24 hours to extradite Vladimir Putin for questioning in London”, according to a statement issued by the British government. “Refusal will be taken as admission of guilt.”
Although some of these illustrations can certainly be considered controversial, all of them inspire us to ask important questions about the society and world we live in.
This is important, because only through asking questions can we ever learn about our problems, and then from there explore potential solutions.
With that said, here are some of the best art illustrations I could find from around the web, captioned with my own interpretation of what their deeper meaning is to me.
Please note, this is not for sensitive viewers.
We’re so blinded by our ignorance and rage, that while we blame each other for our mutual struggles like fools, we’re getting screwed by the same people/Artist Credit: Lubomir Arsov
We are bound by nothing, except belief. Be careful not to imprison yourself/Artist Credit: Unknown
“All I wanna say is that, they don’t really care about us.” /Artist Credit: Unknown
Look deeper, sometimes the most dangerous and toxic people in life come disguised as people that pretend to care/Artist Credit: Luis Quiles
There is no greater currency than time, be careful not to waste it/Artist Credit: Unknown
Don’t let your phone blind you from life and the world around you. Don’t let it turn you into a dumb Ass/Artist credit: Paweł Kuczyński
Facebook and social media might seem like a nice place to relax in our free time, but beware, beneath the surface there are sharks swimming…/Artist credit: John Holcroft
In spite of overwhelming historical evidence proving powerful elitists engage in child sex abuse, and it occurs in the shadows of every element and class of society, many of us pretend not to see, which is a shameful betrayal of our children/Artist Credit: Lubomir Arsov
The most dangerous ride in the world because psychopaths control it — Safety not guaranteed/Artist credit: John Holcroft
Looks like we finally found Nemo…/Artist Credit: Luis Quiles
What justice for animals would look like if it truly existed/Artist Credit: Unknown
If we don’t make a conscious effort to educate our children, the internet most certainly will/Artist Credit: Gunduz Agayev
“The problem is not that there is a lack of money, food, water, or land. The problem is we’ve given control of these resources to psychopaths.”— Gavin Nasicmento/Artist Credit: Lubomir Arsov
They may appear to be different, but the establishment media are ultimately being steered and controlled by the same force/Artist credit: Paweł Kuczyński
This world will never be saved by arrogant assholes, it can only be saved by those who are made of heart/Artist Credit: Gunduz Agayev
10+ Satirical Images That Portray The Dark Side Of Society In The Most Eye-Opening Way… While Some Will Be Hard To Swallow, They All Hold True In Current Times…
“This is about 16 years too late, this was their faces when the patriot act was put into place. Funny how all this hate for Donald Trump makes everyone forget about bush. Short term memory loss. ” Kris Milocco
Ever wondered why your energy supplier and governments are so keen to give you a smart meter?
We lay out some not-so-good reasons in this 4 minute animation. Your private data, lifestyle and behavioural choices can be amalgamated into a data-set that is monetised and sold to 3rd party companies. Our usual satire of dark subjects aim to entertain and inform you.
The creators of This is Spinal Tap, the most influential mockumentary ever made, have been paid almost nothing. The rock gods are angry.
In comedy, as in rock ’n’ roll, nothing is quite as easy as it looks. And so it makes sense that several years before the 1984 release of the legendary rock ’n’ roll mockumentary This Is Spinal Tap, director Rob Reiner and stars and co-writers Michael McKean, Christopher Guest, and Harry Shearer first had to make a shorter version of the same movie: a sort of sample-size Spinal Tap, meant to whet the appetite of studios that might bankroll the real thing. Titled The Final Tour, this 20-minute demo reel about a past-its-prime, unselfconsciously ridiculous band makes for an uncanny viewing experience today, if for no other reason than how fully conceived the idea already was.
if you’re curious:
There’s Reiner as the band’s earnest interlocutor, Tony Hendra of National Lampoon as the hapless manager, and Bruno Kirby as the cranky limo driver with a thing for Sinatra. There’s the drummer who dies in a bizarre gardening accident—and the other drummer who spontaneously combusts. There’s Shearer’s airport metal-detector scene, where the problem is in his pants. There’s the touching piano number with the surprisingly bawdy title that can’t be printed here. And there are most of the memorable songs: Big Bottom, Sex Farm, Gimme Some Money, Tonight I’m Gonna Rock You Tonight, and, of course, Stonehenge, fully staged, complete with that catastrophically tiny prop (they’d expected 18 feet and got 18 inches) and two costumed little people dancing around it.
“I was amazed when I last looked at it,” says Shearer, who plays Derek Smalls, the band’s bare-chested, mutton-chopped, pipe-smoking bassist. “We had this little pittance”—a $60,000 screenplay fee from a company that eventually rejected the idea—“to shoot characters and performances.” He remembers his long black wig costing about $5, and that it took an hour and a half to remove once the shoot was over (the costumer had used super glue). Shearer, Reiner (who plays Marty DiBergi, the fake documentarian), Guest (as lead guitarist Nigel Tufnel), and McKean (as vocalist David St. Hubbins) had been nursing and developing the idea since 1978. They first performed as the band in a 1979 variety show called The T.V. Show. Then they wrote seven new songs, played a few gigs in costume in Los Angeles, and worked out a complete band history to ensure that their improvisations had a narrative spine they all could rely on. “Michael McKean, I believe, still has the napkin on which the possible names and the possible misspellings were outlined,” Shearer recalls, “because I think at one point we thought maybe S-p-y-n-a-l?”
Armed in 1980 with that demo reel, Reiner and the others were rejected by every studio they pitched. Finally, in 1982, they got $2 million from Embassy Pictures Corp., a tiny studio run by Norman Lear, whom Reiner knew well from his days in the cast of All in the Family. (Lesson No. 1 in Hollywood: It helps to have powerful friends.) By the time the movie came out, Lear had left Embassy, which was on the verge of bankruptcy. Despite an appearance by the band as musical guest on Saturday Night Live, the movie performed anemically in theaters and faded quickly.
But then a funny thing happened: Tap refused to die, thanks in no small part to repeat viewings on VHS. “We may have been the first nonporn home video to do well,” Shearer says. In just a few years, This Is Spinal Tap became a sort of comedy-nerd Casablanca, a classic so infinitely quotable that it practically generated its own language. (If anyone has ever told you that something “goes to 11,” you probably haven’t required an explanation.) And like a low-IQ, longhaired Pinocchio, Spinal Tap transformed into the real thing, recording albums and even touring. “The thing that we joke about is called the Spinal Tap curse,” Shearer says, “where we have to go through everything that we’ve made fun of.”
It’s hard to think of another movie from the past 50 years that’s had a bigger impact on modern comedy. Spinal Tap pioneered a mock-doc genre that’s influenced everything from the long run of improvisational films directed by Guest (Waiting for Guffman and Best in Show among them) to docu-styled sitcoms such as The Office and Modern Family. This made it all the more surprising when, about four years ago, Shearer became the first of his fake bandmates to learn lesson No. 2 in Hollywood: No matter how well your movie does, there’s no such thing as net profit.
Shearer as Tap bassist Derek Smalls.
Source: Embassy Pictures/Evert Collection
In one major respect, Shearer seems the least likely of his collaborators to be chasing after riches from Spinal Tap. He earns a reported $300,000 per episode for his work on Fox’s The Simpsons, inhabiting the characters of Montgomery Burns, Waylon Smithers, Principal Skinner, Ned Flanders, and dozens of others. Given that, rummaging behind the couch cushions of an old cult movie can seem unnecessary, even unseemly.
On the other hand, Shearer might also be the Tap member most given to righteous indignation. He seems to make a habit of falling out with people, from Albert Brooks (Shearer co-wrote Brooks’s first feature, Real Life) to McKean, whom he suggested during a 2015 interview on Marc Maron’s podcast wasn’t exactly a friend. An unnamed colleague from one of his stints on Saturday Night Live was once quoted calling him “brilliant, funny, and detestable.” Among the cast of The Simpsons, Shearer has long been the malcontent-in-chief, openly complaining about how Fox fails to appreciate the show. In 2015 he announced he was quitting because, he said, the network had introduced language into his contract that curtailed his freedom to do other work. He says he changed his mind and stayed only after the language was removed.
Sometimes it takes a malcontent to disturb something as intractable as Hollywood accounting practices. By the terms of the contract they signed in 1982 with Embassy Pictures, the four creators of Spinal Tap are entitled to a portion of income from the film, including merchandise and music, provided certain benchmarks are hit. Given the wild afterlife of This Is Spinal Tap, it seems impossible that anyone with a piece of the movie hasn’t made money. And yet this is Hollywood, where studios have claimed that some of the highest-grossing films—hits such as Return of the Jedi, Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire, and the Lord of the Rings trilogy—somehow haven’t turned a profit. As David Zucker, one of the creators of Airplane!, once said of his own sleeper hit, “It made so much money that the studio couldn’t hide it fast enough.”
With Embassy out of business, the theatrical rights to Spinal Tap bounced around from Coca-Cola to De Laurentiis Entertainment Group to a L’Oréal property named Parafrance to, around 1990, Studiocanal, a subsidiary of the French company Vivendi SA. The home-video rights followed a separate path and landed with Sony Music Entertainment. None of those companies paid the four creators, and no one did anything about it until Shearer finally lost his patience. “We were approaching the 30th anniversary,” he says, “and this low-burning lightbulb begins to go off—‘Hey, wait a minute, what’s going on here?’ ”
A friend referred him to Amanda Harcourt, a U.K.-based intellectual-property consultant with a specialized practice helping artists secure the rights to their creations. “I always thought record contracts were mind-bogglingly abusive until I started reading movie studio contracts,” she says. Most of Harcourt’s clients don’t want to be identified publicly. Shearer does. “He said to me right at the beginning, ‘One of the reasons I want you is you’re not in Hollywood,’ ” Harcourt says, “ ‘because I don’t care who I upset.’
The truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth about the Syria Strikes from the truth-telling truth-tellers in the truthful government and true mainstream news!…in under 5 minutes!!
Facebook has been spamming alerting users about how to spot fake news or ‘false news’ as they call it. It’s an insult to most people’s intelligence, but for the sake up absolute clarity, I thought I’d go through each ‘helpful’ tip one step at a time.
Here they are along with my own advice on what it means.
1. Be sceptical of headlines:
False news stories often have catch headlines in all caps with exclamation points. If shocking claims in the headlines sound unbelievable they probably are.
Yes some headlines are very misleading.
The above headline is from a fake story. Russia and Iran have said quite the opposite. The fake story was exposed in an exclusive report in The Duran. So yes, be careful of false and misleading headlines.
2. Look closely at the URL:
A phony or look-alike URL may be a warning sound of false news. Many false news sites mimic authentic news stories by making small changes the URL. You can go to the site to compare the URL to established sources.
If you go to http://www.cnn.com, you may think that you are entering a news website but you are actually entering a site dedicated to pro-Clinton family propaganda where the truth is as expendable as a young intern.
It may look like a harmless lobbying website, but unless you’re as rich as the King of Saudi Arabia, but prepared to be in heavy debt.
3. Investigate the source:
Ensure that the story is written by a source you trust with a reputation for accuracy. If the story comes from an unfamiliar organisation, check their ‘About’ section to learn more.
It is always important to check the agenda of your source, even if the agenda isn’t well hidden.
Although a favourite among smug liberals, the British Broadcasting Corporation is a state-owned entity of the British state, paid for through a compulsory regressive tax.
The ‘news’ on the BBC aims to push the globalist agenda of the very boring, arrogant and dangerous British elite.
Be careful!
4. Watch for unusual formatting:
Many false news sites have misspellings or awkward layouts. Read carefully if you see these signs.
Not just layouts. Here’s another classic from the BBC when they interviewed the wrong man.
5. Consider the photos:
False news stories often contain manipulated images or videos. Sometimes the photos may be authentic, but taken out of context. You can search for the photo or image to verify where it came from.
Here are some images of men pretending to handle sarin gas. If this was real sarin gas, these men would all be dead.
Of course it’s the White Helmets, a group of frauds working with al-Qaeda to spread fake news.
With acting this bad, I cannot understand why they won the Oscar.
6. Inspect the dates:
False news stories may contain timelines that make no sense, or event dates that have been altered.
Look closely at the dates of these Donald Trump Tweets in this article and decide if The Donald was faking it then or now?
7. Check the evidence:
Check the author’s sources to confirm they are accurate. Lack of evidence or reliance on unnamed experts may indicate it is a false news story.
If the sources relied on cite the follow: The Turkish government, the US government, the Saudi government, the Qatari government, the Israeli government, the EU, the Ukrainian government or the UK government….it’s probably false information.
8. Look at other reports:
If no other news source is reporting the same story, it may indicate that the story is false. If the story is reported by multiple outlooks you trust, it’s more likely to be true.
Or it could be that mainstream media if not reporting it. Never check a story against the following sources:
New York Times, CNN, BBC, MSNBC, Washington Post.
9. Is the story a joke?
Sometimes false news stories can be hard to distinguish from humour or satire. Check whether the source is known for parody and whether the story’s details and tone suggest it may just be for fun.
See section 8
10. Some stories are intentionally false:
Think critically about the stories you read and only share news you know to be credible.
AKA, don’t rely on Facebook to tell you the truth, USE YOUR BRAIN!
The study of evolution is filled with controversies. Some scientists believe that mankind continues to move forward and this will always be the case, while others believe humanity has reached its final stage of evolution, and is now currently in an era of stagnation.
“I think that we’ve stopped evolving,” said English broadcaster and naturalist Sir David Attenborough.
Because if natural selection, as proposed by Darwin, is the main mechanism of evolution – there may be other things, but it does look as though that’s the case – then we’ve stopped natural selection.
We stopped natural selection as soon as we started being able to rear 95–99 per cent of our babies that are born.
We are the only species to have put a halt to natural selection, of its own free will, as it were.
But John Hawks, an Associate Professor of Anthropology at the University of Wisconsin–Madison, disagrees:
We have evolved in our recent past, and we will continue to do so as long as we are around. If we take the more than seven million years since humans split from our last common ancestor with chimpanzees and convert it to a 24-hour day, the past 30,000 years would take about a mere six minutes. Yet much has unfolded during this last chapter of our evolution: vast migrations into new environments, dramatic changes in diet and a more than 1,000-fold increase in global population. All those new people added many unique mutations to the total population. The result was a pulse of rapid natural selection. Human evolution is not stopping. If anything, it is accelerating.
Thinking about evolution — whether it’s accelerating or stagnating — is both fascinating and mind boggling at the same time. But the controversy of it has led modern illustrators to present the subject at hand in a much different way than arguments on paper or in person. In fact, these illustrators are putting their imaginations to work to show these two opposing scientific assumptions in a satirical way, and honestly, it’s just as thought-provoking as the lengthy arguments on either side of the scientific table.
The following images will make you wonder: Have we gotten better or worse? Have we advanced technology, or has it simply overtaken us? Think of sitting down with your grandparents, and how your discussions on the world, and where we are, and who we are, differ. Many of us might find ourselves in a common argument. Grandparents believe younger generations have become mere robots, forgetting what hard work looks like and what the outdoors smells like. The younger generations may believe we have created so many advancements to better the world we live in that it’s a fair tradeoff. Of course, this is merely an example and cannot speak for everyone, but it’s interesting to see how generations apart can vary on outlook, such as scientists do.
Take a look at the following 15 illustrations and decide for yourself where you stand on the topic, or even just see what the images provoke your brain to think!
Photos: Dan Piraro, Joel Marsh, imgur.com, SDunne17, Amjad Rasmi, kudelka.com.au, bycentaur, photogsomething, Liz Meyer, Glenn Jones, daneatsfood, Gumby507, Mike Keefe
Just for the fun of it, let’s say that Tubularsock is going to sell you this car:
A 2017 ROLLS ROYCE PHANTOM CONVERTIBLE
And lets say the cost of this PHANTOM was just a little over $430,000.00 and that is with an AM/FM Stereo and an electric ashtray! Oh sure, and automatic windshield wipers.
But if you buy today and pay CASH Tubularsock would sell it TO YOU for $200,000.00!
And you are directed to wire the cash to Tubularsock World Wide Auto Sales Ltd. in Panama.
Simple as that.
And upon receipt and verification of your payment your new ROLLS ROYCE PHANTOM CONVERTIBLE will be delivered to your door at no charge.
Deal?
But then you remember what your father always told you: “Read the fine print!”
So would you go for the deal?
Or not!
Well that is EXACTLY the deal the United States is offering YOU when it comes to information about this inflated Russian hacking lie!
At the very TOP of the National Cybersecurity & Communications Integration Center – NCCIC and Federal Bureau of Investigation is this disclaimer:
Which is to say that THEY ARE NOT RESPONSIBLE FOR THE INFORMATION PROVIDED!
Have any question come to your mind?
Perhaps, Tubularsock’s just sayin’ , if the NCCIC and the FBI are putting out this information about the Russian hacking, THEN just who is responsible for the validity of the information? They say: IT’S NOT US!
But really, in this case it is just an attempt to mislead YOU. It is not a lie, it just doesn’t fit the reality of the situation. It is a cleaver misdirection that looks like there is real information being provided but IT DOESN’T PROVE JACK SHIT!
And THAT is one major problem with the United States of America today …………… NO ONE IS RESPONSIBLE FOR ANYTHING!
CONGRESS VOTES TO GIVE THE PRESIDENT THE ABILITY TO KILL PEOPLE ALL OVER THE WORLD ….. THEY’RE NOT RESPONSIBLE.
A BANK IS DRIVEN INTO BANKRUPTCY AND HAS TO BE BAILED OUT BY “WE THE CITIZENS” ……… THE CEO IS NOT RESPONSIBLE.
BIG PHARMA KILLS HUNDREDS OF THOUSANDS OF PEOPLE WITH THEIR PILLS ……. THEY’RE NOT RESPONSIBLE.
THE COPS OPENLY SHOOT PEOPLE IN THE BACK BECAUSE THE COP “FEELS” THREATENED ……….. NOT RESPONSIBLE.
THE DEMOCRATIC PARTY MACHINE CHEAT AND RIG HILLARY’S NOMINATION FOR THE PARTY BUT SHE AND HER CORRUPT CHEATING BAND OF CONSPIRATORS ARE NOT HELD RESPONSIBLE ……. the focus is shifted to the Russians for Christ sake!
NO ONE IS RESPONSIBLE, well except for the guy who’s selling cigarettes on the street without a permit. He’s responsible for his CRIME! So much so, that the cops kill him after breaking the police departments own rules. But those cops aren’t held responsible for their own cop rules!
AND NOW TRUMP LIES AND LIES AND LIES AND ALL OF A SUDDEN IT’S AN ISSUE?
(NaturalNews) (SATIRE – This weekend satire piece is for entertainment purposes only and references mature themes. If you are offended, go scream for your mommy…)
Natural News can now confirm that it wasn’t the Russians who stole the election for Donald Trump… it was aliens from planet Cockamamie in the Libtard Nebula, according to CNN sources that have chosen to remain anonymous because they also imagine they work for the CIA.
According to these sources, planet Cockamamie suffered a devastating population collapse due to economic restrictions thrust upon them by the galactic climate change cultists known as “AlGorians.” Following a mass starvation catastrophe caused by the Cockamamie Senate banning fossil fuels without having any energy replacement ready, Cockamamians found themselves needing to repopulate their planet with fresh organic specimens harvested from across the cosmos.
Hence their trip to Earth, a planet that was once believed to also suffer from mass starvation until televised signals of Michael Moore were captured and analyzed by Cockamamian scientists. Suddenly, Earth was heralded by distant civilizations as a “grand cosmic buffet” of processed food calories and incredibly disconnected leftist who seemed to already be living on another planet anyway.
California, in particular, was chosen as the first landing site because the state’s massive “Safe Space” sign can be observed from high orbit, and the aliens thought it was an invitation to freely engage in “open borders” cattle probing or anal mutilations… or perhaps the other way around.
Thus, shortly before Election Day, large metallic dildo-shaped craft shimmering with LGBTQ rainbow light displays were observed hovering over San Francisco… or at least that’s what the warehouse cult rave party survivors tweeted. According to reports, the dildo-shaped UFOs targeted high-density apartment complexes to ensure the harvesting of a high percentage of liberals who might feel more at home on planet Cockamamie, whose policies almost exactly parallel those of San Francisco, where homeless people are openly allowed to defecate on the sidewalks but never allowed to accept homemade food from gracious citizens due to the city-wide “food safety crackdown.”
Suddenly the dildo craft sprang into action. In a mesmerizing flash, millions of Californicators were beamed up to the dildo UFOs, where they were efficiently subjected to a battery of mental and physical tests. In one relentless test, gender-fluid grey humanoids (“CockaTransaMamians”) used oral, nasal and anal voltage stimulators to determine the biological resiliency of human subjects. To the shock of the greys, some San Franciscan captives actually enjoyed the experience and begged for more. Astonished, the CockaTransaMamians ejected them from captivity and teleported them into Starbucks coffee shops to serve as hyperstimulated faggoty baristas who immediately began berating customers with tales of “sexual escapades with 50 shades of Greys.”
Other humans were found to be too stupid to survive on planet Cockamamie, so they were dropped off at the county courthouse and encouraged to run for political office or even lead the DNC.
Deeper in the bowels of the alien mothership, left-wing commentator Keith Olbermann was observed being apparently molested by CockaTransaMamians who tried to apply a brain scan helmet to his butt cheeks while milking his nose for DNA samples. It turns out they couldn’t tell Keith’s head from his ass and had the guy completely upside down.
After realizing their error, they tried to make amends by installing a “Russian conspiracy” program into his feeble brain and using a Men-In-Black flashy thingy to wipe his memory… which also happened to make him an even better news teleprompter reader for Earth’s propaganda fake news networks. Now, as you can observe on his broadcasts, Keith Olbermann fully realizes he was violated but can’t remember why… but he’s certain the Russians did something nefarious to his rectum and he thinks it might have been a poo coup.
Meanwhile, all the captive space-faring Democrats tried to wage a “soft coup” takeover of the Cockamamian mothership, first by demanding a democratic vote on who should be running the ship, then rigging the vote by recirculating people who already voted to the back of the voting line to make sure they could vote a second time. But they got caught by the greys, whom the Democrats quickly condemned as “illegal aliens,” much to the amusement of those on board who were actual aliens. The Democrats got overruled, at which point they all started to scream for mommy and began leaping out of the docking bays, mistaking the “WARNING: SPACE” signs for “SAFE SPACE” indicators.
It turns out that in outer space, no one can hear you scream “WAAAAAHHH!”
As the Democrats remaining inside the dildo alien UFO screamed and sobbed and demanded hot cocoa to soothe their trauma, the greys began to second guess the wisdom in transplanting such pathetic creatures who were obviously incapable of survival in a dynamic universe. Even the Cockamamie education system on planet Cockamamie might be too advanced for these failed specimens, the greys quickly realized, so they decided to jettison the crybabies in Venezuela, where they are now eating out of garbage dumpsters and enjoying their “equality” under a failed left-wing state where everybody is equally miserable, thus solving the “inequality” problem once and for all.
Thanks to the missing Democrats, Donald Trump was elected President. As his first official intergalactic act, he opened a negotiation with the Cockamamians to ask them the most important question to help Make America Great Again: “How many more Democrats can you please remove from Earth on your next harvesting run?”
Their answer? “Hell no! We’ll go somewhere else.”
And that, my friends, is how Donald J. Trump saved Christmas from intergalactic aliens.
“Our citizens should know the urgent facts…but they don’t because our media serves imperial, not popular interests. They lie, deceive, connive and suppress what everyone needs to know, substituting managed news misinformation and rubbish for hard truths…”—Oliver Stone